Hokey Religion


"Obviously a lot of people considered us a joke. 'You can't make a religion based on a movie,' we used to get that a lot. People still ask me where I keep the lightsaber. But things have improved a lot lately, especially since the trademarks became ours. Yoda appears in more nativities every Christmas, and personally I appreciate that recognition — serious or no. We've always had our share of silly holiday tributes."

I understand you also have your own holidays?

"Oh, sure. Have you heard of Star Wars day?"

Can't say I have…

"Well, May the Fourth be with you!"

(original image, inspiration from Pixteca MX on Flickr)

† - Jediism is a religious movement based upon the philosophical and spiritual ideas of the Jedi.

Christmas in the Stars
by Meco


"Sleighride"

9 tracks, 1 image, 176.6 MB, FLAC (perfect lossless quality)
1980 Star Wars Holiday album starring Anthony Daniels and debuting Jon Bon Jovi
get it: Sharebee part 1 - part 2 / Torrent
MP3 quality can be found via Totally Radical Awesome 80s Soundtracks
info: Wikipedia / Wookieepedia / Last.fm
reviews: Electronic Cerebrectomy / I-Mockery / Sputnik Music / Pitchfork Media?
  1. Christmas In The Stars (3:18)
  2. Bells, Bells, Bells (3:15)
  3. The Odds Against Christmas (3:04)
  4. What Can You Get A Wookie For Christmas (When He Already Owns A Comb ) (3:24)
  5. R2-D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas (3:17)
  6. Sleigh Ride (3:36)
  7. Merry, Merry Christmas (2:10)
  8. A Christmas Sighting ('Twas The Night Before Christmas) (3:44)
  9. The Meaning Of Christmas (8:08)
✧ ✧ ✧

Typical Nine-to-Fiver

Stigmatism was the worst part. His wife didn't speak to him anymore. But the pay was good. Medical, dental, a retirement plan. And the bosses weren't as bad as everyone said. Honestly, who would choke a guy for poor job performance anyway? Organization-wise, the beaurocracy was frustrating but efficient. His job was clear enough. As long as he was at his post by 0900, in uniform, and didn't forget the oversized helmet, work was great. Days like today were the best part, when he got to pull the big lever. So long little moon. But... huh, that light... shouldn't... be on...

Patrick Gleeson's Star Wars
by Patrick Gleeson
"Droids"

7 tracks, 1 image, 79.3 MB, 320 kbps FhG MP3
Uploaded by the Kenar Enterprise blog, found via Filestube
get it: Mediafire / Amazon
Pat Gleeson info: Myspace / Wikipedia / EndlessGroove.com
  1. Star Wars Theme 'Luke's Theme' (5:36)
  2. The Tatooine Desert (6:27)
  3. Death Star (5:28)
  4. Star Wars Cantina Music (3:13)
  5. Princess Leia's Theme (3:59)
  6. Droids (2:16)
  7. Ben Kenobi's Theme (6:49)
✧ ✧ ✧

As Regards Burt's Trilobites


Hello Dr. Sarriugrać,

I am responding to your letter dated November 11, 2009 in regards to Mr. Bacharach's collection of rare trilobites. My name is Christopher Scott and I manage Burt's collection on his behalf. Unfortunately, we are not now nor do we ever expect to be interested in the type of offer which you detail.

Without giving offense, Mr. Bacharach and I wish to convey our strong disapproval of your ideas. These fossils ought to be considered precious, a natural resource for generations to come. You cite Jack Horner's recovery of soft tissues from Tyrannosaur bones[1] as strong theoretical evidence, however, we do not consider them worthy of action. All of the trilobites you have suggested are many times older and smaller than Dr. Horner's thigh bones. Please understand: Mr. Bacharach and I are indeed naturally hesitant to compromise these specimens, but even more hesitant given the limited experimental data.

It merits saying that we are also somewhat uneasy with the specific collection items in which you are interested. Not to put too fine a point on it, but by requesting the genera Dicranurus[2], Comura[3], Andegavia[4], and Walliserops[5], organisms vastly seperated in geologic history, you seem to be fixating on the more exotic and even frightening animals. Further, you even characterize their shared qualities as "fantastical, spine-tingling, and alien." I, for one, do not believe that the general public's first encounter with resurrected animals should be "spine-tingling." Please reconsider your motivations, Dr. Sarriugrać.

We thank you NOT to write us with any further correspondence.

         regards,

         Christopher P. Scott
         Fossils Collection Manager

Notes:
[1] - Science, 25 March 2005, Soft-Tissue Vessels and Cellular Preservation in Tyrannosaurus rex
[2] - Dicranurus monstrosus

[3] - Comura sp.

[4] - Andegavia sp.

[5] - Walliserops trifurcates


Switched-on Bacharach
by Christopher Scott
"Do You Know the Way to San Jose?"

10 tracks, 2 images, 52.4 MB, LAME V0 (high quality) MP3s
Vinyl-to-digital transfer
get it: Rapidshare / Amazon
uploaded by Wiel's Time Capsule (in an Electric Storm)
  1. The Look Of Love (2:52)
  2. Alfie (3:11)
  3. Walk On By (2:25)
  4. This Guy's In Love With You (3:38)
  5. Wives And Lovers (1:51)
  6. Do You Know The Way To San Jose (2:36)
  7. What The World Needs Now Is Love (2:56)
  8. I Say A Little Prayer (3:04)
  9. The April Fools (2:53)
  10. What's New Pussycat? (2:05)

More Switched-on Bacharach
by Christopher Scott
"Always Something There to Remind Me"

11 tracks, 3 images, 148 MB, 320 kbps (high quality) FhG MP3s
Vinyl-to-digital transfer
get it: Rapidshare / MegauploadAmazon
uploaded by Third Island

  1. Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head (2:44)
  2. Wishin' And Hopin' (3:08)
  3. (There's) Always Something There To Remind Me (3:31)
  4. (They Long To Be) Close To you (3:27)
  5. Eveybody's Out Of Town (2:52)
  6. Papier Mache (3:11)
  7. Message To Michael (2:37)
  8. I'll Never Fall In Love Again (3:00)
  9. Reach Out For Me (2:44)
  10. Promises Promises (1:56)
  11. Trains And Boats And Planes (2:55)
✧ ✧ ✧

Letter About Time Travel

I got this strange letter in the mail a week ago. I'm pretty sure it wasn't intended for me — or anyone who lives with me — but I can't be sure. The letter seems pretty sensible except for... well, a few things.

Hello Jonny,

This is D██! You wrote to me in March wanting to buy a Flux Capacitor. I really enjoyed reading your letter and I'm glad you liked my project so much. I only have one, but I'd love to tell you how you can make your own. In fact, I've already written instructions. Your parents can help you find them online. But I may have some bad news, too.

I'm afraid my Flux Capacitor might not be what you expect. You see, mine was made from an LED kit. It has flashing lights just like in the movie and looks a lot like that one, but it's pretty much only a toy. And (although we can never be 100% sure) I think even the one in the movies is a toy too. Toys can be great fun, I'm sure you agree, but they can't really take you back in time like you ask.

But wait! Don't give up hope! The fact that even grownups like me enjoy pretend time travel proves that it's an interesting idea. Lots of people have come up with ideas about how someone might time travel for real. No one has done it yet (that I know of), but that means that you could be the first! I'll give you a couple places to start. Feel free to find other ideas or even come up with your own!

People pretty much think time travel might happen in two places: either very small or very big. Einstein the dog was named after Albert Einstein the scientist. Being the smart guy that he was, Einstein figured out something called "General Relativity." Doc Brown talks about it in the movies. General Relativity has some good guesses for questions about how the world works, like: what happens when big things get really big, how fast can the fastest things go, and stuff like that. Some people think that if we were to go faster than light we would move backward instead of forward through time. But light is really, really fast, much faster than 88 mph, and no one knows yet how we might go that fast. One of the only possible ways people have come up with is to go near really big things in space, like black holes, and try to use their energy to swing around backwards... or even pop through them! If this sounds hard, that's because it is. But remember: hard doesn't mean impossible.

That's the very big, now for the very small. Anything you see in the world could be broken down into smaller pieces, and those pieces even smaller... so how small can they get? Scientists called "physicists" do experiments to figure out stuff like that, and the answer they found is: very VERY small... and things so small act very strange. They have crazy names like quarks, fermions, neutrinos, baryons, excitons, or positrons. Some (like anti-mesons and tachyons) might go faster than light. In some experiments, small things seem to get where they are going before they leave where they left from! Sounds like time travel to me. Other small things can move together the exact same way at the same time, totally disconnected, no matter how far apart they are. Weird! Maybe lots of things move together like this, but we don't notice because they move at different times. All this strange science of small is called "Quantum Mechanics" — very complicated stuff, but you can look it up if you'd like.

Even if we can get time travel to work, it might still be tricky. You saw an example in the first movie: if Marty stops his parents from meeting, they will never have him as their kid... but then he would never be able to go back in time and stop them from meeting! How confusing that must be. This is called a "causality paradox." Causality is when one thing makes another thing happen (I drop an apple, then it hits the ground... I caused it to hit the ground). A paradox is when something seems possible but does not make sense (I can say "I am telling a lie" but if I am actually lying, then what I told you was true, so I did not lie... Great Scott!). Some people think that the possibility of causality paradoxes proves that time travel is impossible. Other people think that causality paradoxes are impossible, and that if you went into the past you could not change things even if you tried (that's called the "Novikov Self-consistecy Principle"). Other people think that if you ever changed causality in the past, you would just make a new timeline, like what happened with Biff's Almanac. There might be many different timelines, also called parallel universes… people call that idea the "Many Worlds Hypothesis."

There is another possibility, which is that causality might go more than one-way. Could something in the future cause something in the present? It sounds crazy, but no one can prove it's impossible. Scientists call this idea "Retrocausality" and they are pretty sure that even if you could do it, you couldn't send back things like lottery numbers. If you could we'd all be millionaires by now! There are ways we might send some things back, but they can be very tricky. Even though not many people think about Retrocausality when they think about time travel, it seems a lot more practical than Quantum Mechanics or General Relativity. In fact, it's my personal favorite time-travelling method! I might not see any dinosaurs but I have a lot of fun anyways.

Well, that's about all I have to say. I hope I have given you lots of interesting things to think and read and dream about. Let your parents know which parts you liked best. Sorry about the Flux Capacitor... maybe it was the wrong time (ha! little time travel joke there for you). Even though that way can't work, now you know many other ways you can try. That's all scientists do, you know... we try things that don't work until we try something that does work.

Whatever it is you try to do, don't give up trying!

          yours in friendship,

          D██ M████
          April 8, 2016

Fuddy Duddy:

Multiplication:

20 tracks, 5 images, 120 MB, 320 kpbs MP3
get: Mediafire / Amazon / iTunes
info: TrunkRecords.comLast.fm
upload found on M.Hulot's Nothing Days, via Filestube
  1. Busy Busy (2:36)
  2. Crank Two (3:45)
  3. DT Three (1:17)
  4. Fuddy Duddy (2:32)
  5. Glam (3:05)
  6. Hawks (2:10)
  7. Heavy (0:58)
  8. Hot Coals (1:10)
  9. How Sweet It Is (1:58)
  10. K Piano (3:36)
  11. Lesbian 77 (1:13)
  12. MST (1:38)
  13. Multiplication (0:58)
  14. New Piano (4:06)
  15. News (1:10)
  16. PC Copper (2:21)
  17. Snowblind (2:50)
  18. Spag Bol (3:15)
  19. SR (2:25)
  20. Wife Swapper (3:02)
✧ ✧ ✧

Macedonia By Mail

Hello Mr. Wicked Flix --

I am named Taylan Aksar. I am writing you to ask you if please you can remove many items from your E-Bay online store. I see you want to sell many copies of a film you are naming "Macedonian Wizard of Oz" but truthfully has been named "Ayşecik ve Sihirli Cüceler Rüyalar Ülkesinde." This film I am in. I was much ashamed for years, as myself and others often "Magic Dwarves" are named. We know this is wrong because we are not magic, not dwarf. In Macedonie, I am known for it, and it is bad, but now, people in countries far away to see it -- this is madness!! It is much good removed.

I want my son in America to send this letter. I tell him promise to change my words not at all.. only send to people who would sell this horrible film! He has name of greater Macedonie artist and helped me. Thank you, Ferus.

Please, send this film to my son Ferus Mustafov Aksar. Or if you will please destroy all. You know I once have been Robot on a show. I have much preferred to be Robot as a Magic Dwarf. I want to be remembered as Robot, and this is my choice --

Thank you very much. Taylan Aksar.


Artist: Ferus Mustfov. Nationality: Macedonian. Cyrillic: Ферус Мустафов. Instruments: saxophone, clarinet.

Ferus King
by Ferus Mustafov
Sevdah Oro

15 tracks, 1 cover image, 77.1 MB, LAME V2 (high quality) mp3
difficult-to-find compilation album of previously published songs
get it: Sharebee / Amazon
Also known as "King Ferus"
not to be confused with King Ferus or King Ferus (Macedonian Wedding Soul Cooking)
    1. Anadolski Èoèek (Anadolian Belly Dance) (3:28)
    2. Sevdah Oro (Lovesickness Dance) (3:24)
    3. Èifte Teli (Kick Teli) (3:13)
    4. Panagursko Oro (Fair Dance) (3:41)
    5. Trubaèko Oro (Trumpet Dance) (2:57)
    6. Romski Èoèek (Gipsy Belly Dance) (3:25)
    7. Kakva Ubava Žena (What A Wonderful Woman) (4:05)
    8. Musin Èoèek (Musa Belly Dance) (3:47)
    9. Folklorni Èoèek (Folklore Dance) (2:20)
    10. Šutka Èoèek (Shutka Belly Dance) (2:38)
    11. Kenanov Peštrec (Kenan Peshtrec) (2:50)
    12. Turski Èoèek (Turkish Belly Dance) (3:36)
    13. Vo Kafana Sedam Sam (I Am Sitting In The Barroom Quite Alone) (4:26)
    14. Katarski Èoèek (Kharar Belly Dance) (3:03)
    15. Saksofon Èoèek (Saxophone Dance) (3:05)

    The Heat of Balkan Gypsy Soul
    by Ferus Mustafov 4
    Mak Oluja

    9 tracks, 1 cover image, 116.2 MB, LAME V0 (high quality) mp3
    live album with Ferus and friends
    get it: Sharebee / Amazon / iTunes
    info: Last.fm / backata.com
      1. Zajdi zajdi / Metem Cocek (7:05)
      2. Cigancica (5:32)
      3. Arabska igra / Tikino sa / Bugarski cacak (17:47)
      4. Revisko oro (2:04)
      5. Mak oluja (2:22)
      6. Oriental cocek / Romski cocek (8:05)
      7. Stipski cocek / Bleh cocek / Olimpijski cocek / Srbsko kolo / Milanov vez / Kocovo oro (16:58)
      8. Turski cocek (5:39)
      9. Roblek kolo (1:51)
      ✧ ✧ ✧

      Blip.fm for Microfiction

      This system may not work out. I discovered that Blip.fm no longer maintains a simple means to embed. Nevertheless, it can be done. Proof:



      Songs: "Pandoura Hora" and "Fistula Thurga" from the album Symphonia Panica by band Musica Romana. Download can be found here.
      ✧ ✧ ✧

      Hello, A World

      So it begins. What is it? That will be found out. Things I cannot tell you, or cannot tell, are waiting in the wings and they could be anything. But they'll probably choose me to come out.

      I will publish them here. I will do what I can to please. There's only so much future out there and so I hope this doesn't take forever because I'm a busy man or at least I think I am. Sometimes you have to just sit back and wait for the future. I'm patient. Or at least I think I used to be. Don't wait around for me, I guess.

      There's a lot that still needs to be said but I think I've said all I need to. You have other things to do and see and you shouldn't put too much thought into this; nothing means anything anyway. But it's fine if you'd like to think so, though.

      (image via WeHeartIt, via thenextweb.com)
      ✧ ✧ ✧